death petal

2005-12-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

LUMIPAT NA PO AKO DITO
paki update nlng ung links nio

reality

2005-10-17T03:27:00.000-07:00

NOW I'M READY TO BE FREE..

naive orlenes

2005-08-31T19:05:00.000-07:00

Come and go now as you please
Your actions write the melodies
To those songs that we sing
And you just sing

And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around

Is this the way you want it?
Is this the way it has to be?
Sitting here beside you
But my heart's lost in New Orleans
Dreams come clever
Hearts now severed
Difference of forever
And I am lost there

And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that all

Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
And you just sing along out loud

siberian kiss

2005-07-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

Give me back my pictures of me.
It figures the wheezing will measure your rate of depress
and I hope that you know.

Like a bitch in heat I hope she know.
So put another penny in and turn the crank until the frames
cease to move and the movie turns into a photo,
a photo the size of a kiss I hope she knows.

Staring at a Parisian sex flick where the characters don't meet,
the characters don't speak, and the characters are
like mirrors facing mirrors:
space always expanding.

So put another coin in and turn the crank until the frames
cease to move and the movie turns into a photo,
a photo the size of my fist I hope she knows.

A hiccup in paradise
I keep you jealously to myself,
in a photo the size of a kiss,
a kiss in the shape of a bullet.

On phone lines and letterhead, I'm dying about.I'm dying about.
On phone lines and letterhead, I'm dying about. I'm dying about.
I've watched you whore yourself out for one more thing.
Why don't you sell yourself.
There's always one more thing.
Why don't you sell yourself.
If I can't have you know one will.
Pushing a lover to love another.
Are you turned on?

A hiccup in paradise
I keep you jealously to myself,
in a photo the size of a kiss,
a kiss in the shape of a bullet.

I keep you jealously to myself

-Glassjaw - Siberian Kiss

a new tattoo..

2005-03-06T01:33:00.000-08:00

i always wanted to have a tattoo printed on my legs or my back or at the back of my

neck, even a henna can do. but i don't know where, how, and who will put it there..

i have this cool design that i want to be sown into my skin(i just want it to sound

good). it's prohibited in school but who cares? it's a religious design anyway and

who'll find it? acually i have two pictures that i want to have on my skin.. well for

know i have two.. one is this cross with a star on it(i have the image below) and

another is a black rose with thorns and violet blood dripping. i can't really explain

the image but i'm sure you'll see it soon. how soon? when i earned enough cash or..

have it done free by friends.. to see the image click here.

rx queen

2005-03-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

RX QUEEN

I won't stop following you

now help me pray for

the death of everything new

then we'll fly farther

cause you're my girl

and that's alright

if you sting me

I won't mind

we'll stop to rest on the

moon and we'll make a fire

I'll steal a carcass for you

then feed off the virus

cause you're my girl

and that's alright

if you sting me

I won't mind

now look at em

look at em now

look at em sting

I see a red light in June

and I hear crying

you turn new

born baby blue

now we're all the virus

drunk

2005-02-25T14:38:00.000-08:00

i miss getting drunk. i mean getting real drunk. the one that puts you to sleep on the floor.

i can't go out at night. i don't know why. maybe because they know i'm going to drink when

i go out while they sleep. a perfect beerdae with my friends is with a bottle of beer, packs of

cigarettes, rotating hard liquor and some reggae music. endless conversasions, passed out

drunk guys, puking dizzy fellows, coffee machine persons, tanggero, occasional cough due

to the smoke, and ofcourse who'll forget the annoying drunk thraser guy(the one who breaks

the stuff in your house.). man i miss these things. anyone care for a drink? =)

buried myself alive

2005-02-02T16:48:00.000-08:00

the used - buried myself alive
--> sakto sa kalagayan ko ngayon

you almost always pick the best times,
to drop the worst lines.
You almost made me cry again this time.
another false alarm,
red flashing lights.
well this time im not going to watch myself die.
i think i made it a game to play your game,
and let myself cry.
i buried myself alive on the inside,
so could i shut you out,
and let you go away for a long time.
GOD !!
i guess its ok i puked the day away.
i guess its better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back,
youre gonna have to ask.

i think the chain broke away,
and i felt in the day that i had my own time.
i took advantage of myself and fine fine,
but it was worth the night,
i caught an early flight and i made it home.

i guess its ok i puked the day away.
i guess its better you trapped yourself in your own way.
and if you want me back,
youre gonna have to ask.
nicer than that!
nicer than that..

with my foot on your neck,
i finally have you,
right where i want you
right where i want you..

i guess its ok i puked the day away.
iguess its better you trapped yourself in your ownway.
and if you want me back,
youre gonna have to ask.
nicer than that!
nicer than that..
and if you want me back,
youre gonna have to ask
nicer than that
nicer in a fuckin way..
NICER !!

sleepless

2005-01-01T08:39:00.000-08:00

staring at the bright lights above
reliving the moments that i once have
sharing a moment with a loved one
and a fear of losing him one day
and when the day comes what will i do
but the time came.. and he's not here
left here alone and who's to blame but me

all this sadness.. all this loneliness..
made me a very diffrent person inside
i'm always alone and very afraid..
having a hard time to cope up with things
growing alone and in misery made me angry
wanting to express what's within me

someone came to my life and changed it
she took care and made me very happy
gave me a reason to live and to love
and i thank her for everything that she's done

lame lame lame

2004-12-29T05:27:00.000-08:00

lately i haven't done anything productive
i mean i'm so fucked up the past few days
and i don't want to do anything
i just ate, watch some local shit and sleep
i didn't bother to exercise and thats because..
i have no skateboard.. and that sucks
and i'm getting fat.. again..

and another news.. i got no money..
well that's not that new but.. it's after christmas
FOR GOD'S SAKE!
i got no cash because i spend it ALL..
in my skate.. but my skate was abducted
and has been killed by illegal aliens..
in other words.. it was taken from me..
by my MOTHER.. and shit breaks lose..

here's another news..
i'm try this new hair style.. yeah
i'm kinda bored with the old one

"when will the hurting stop?.."

blogging is in

2004-12-25T13:39:00.000-08:00

i found out that blogging is the new "IN" thing.. moe told me that some fucking mobile company made blogging a trend.. now this suck.. almost everybody has a blog.. and here's another thing.. i can't find a reason to write.. i don't know why.. maybe my mind is not working well anymore..

untimely

2004-11-12T04:11:00.000-08:00

*unang kanta namen sana pagpasensyahan nio na hehe watch out for future update! ehehe kame nga pala ang Hesus band! hehe malapet na kame magkagig! antay na lang! sasabihan ko kayo! yahoooo! ako ang drummer/writer lolz

-untimely-
a prey i was for the cruelty of love
an untimely end for all the hapiness
every kiss seems to be the end
entering a dark room of silence
sadness in every step of the waybubbles of memories floating
echoes of the laughter fading
all this brought me to a knee
and made me shed tears
blood and oil dripping on the floor
asking for forgivenss from an atheist priest
expecting an untimely death..

lousy poems

2004-10-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

i'm a lousy writer. just want to show the people out there what stupidity i can write. feel free to tag your comments. negative or positive. i need your reactions. tell me if this suck big time

"imagine all the misery..
imagine all the chaos..
it's good to know that your dead
brought and sold us
die.. don't act innocent"

"can you tell me what have you done?
ever thought of the word FATHER?
he died, i waited but what?
hell with the cross you carry
for theres no reason to believe you.."

"yes, i'm here just waiting..
keep your sakes high and see me frowning
just once will you be with me
and set all my problems free
and see them come back
as you leave.."

"why does it keep on hurting?
i'm drunk with my tears
and keep on choking..
sick and tired of all the problems
and all the sadness a god named Jesus gave.."

"our love to each other holds us together
is this luck or is this destiny?
missing you seems to be a phenomenon
and the taste of your lips..
reminds me the struggles we once had..
my love to you is true"

bday ni dad

2004-09-27T04:18:00.000-07:00

today is the birthday of my dad
september 27..
oh boy.. i really miss him..
how i wish he's still alive..
maybe i will not be like this
if all those didn't happend..
well.. i can't change the past..
happy birthday dad..
i really miss you..

beerbei ni lawrence

2004-09-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

ok here the scene.. beerdei ni lawrence at nagpainom sha sa bahay ni rafael. naglayas si carl kunwari di namen alam.. pero ang hindi namen alam ay kung asan talaga sha nagpupunta.. pero nagpunta sha sa beerdei ni rafael.. naglayas sha tpos alam ng nanay ko kaya hindi ako pede magpalate ng uwi. medyo marame kame don.. si rod, franz, chico, lawrence, clauds, ako, rafael, king, caio,paolo, baldo, carloo.. yan lang ata.. ang rame noh? hehe andon ako mga 3pm.. nagskate sandali tpos pagbalik kila raffy mga 4 ata or 5 inantay namen silang lahat dumating.. mga 530 ata clang laaht nakadating.. nagstart kame mga 6.. sakto yung inuman may problema ako non.. may nabalitaan kase akong masaklap tungkol kay yvonne kaya ako ang nagstart mga 6.. strong ice yung inumin of the night.. medyo nadisappoint ako dahel kala ko red horse. hindi ako nagstrostrong ice kaya di ko alam kung ilan ang kaya ko or kung ano ang lasa.. kala ko wala lang yon kase sanay ako sa red horse.. but i was wrong hehehe nagpunta ang nanay ni caio don kaya late na nagsimula ang tagayan.. oyeh tagayan ng beer.. 2 case lang kase andon.. habang andon si tita carrie nagtatago cla caio sa 711 nagshoshopping nag pulutan at ice.. nagbabasketball kame pagdating ni tita carrie.. medyo matagal nagstay don si tita carrie kaya di makastart ang lahat sa paginom. pagalis ni tita carrie dumating at nakumpleto na ang phi beta kappa squadron hehe. at nagsimula uminom! oyeeeh! nasa isang sulok lang ako namomoblema.. nagsimula ung tagayan nakaka 3 bote na ako.. sabe ko sa sarili ko.. "shaks mukang mababasag ako ng todo kase may amats na ako at hindi nila ako papalagpasin sa tagayan.. blah blah" nangdumating saken ung baso nahihilo na ako pero inubos ko ung kalahati tpos sinalo ako ni carloo don sa kalahati(thanks carloo for that :D) enden nagpass na ako dahel umiikot na mundo ko.. nagpatimpla ng kape pero walang nangyare.. hindi paren ako nasusuka 7pm na kelangan kong ipilit ang suka dahil uuwi pa ako kaya umalis ako sa table at nagpunta sa isang lugar at pinilit ang pagsuka.. saksess!! kinausap ako ni baldo tungkol sa problema ko medyo tama sha.. medyo lang naman.. tpos nasuka ako for the last time.. ok na ako.. konti na lng amats ko.. time check 730 nagluto kame ng yakisoba at inubos.. paglabas ng bahay naghihingalo na ang mga tao dahel lahat may tama na hehe binabato ang mga upuan nagsisigawan nagiislaman.. sound check.. slapshock paren.. slapshock lang.. hindi kase ako nagdala ng cd eh.. den yon nagteks ako sa nanay ko sinabe ko na uminom ako at nagaantay lng mawala ang kalasingan tpos uuwi agad.. nagteks bak si mother dearest ko.. "ano address nyan? san banda? susunduin na lang kita" den sinabe ko i was reliefed na sinundo ako dahel di ako makalakad ng maayos.. hehehe. pagdating ng mother dearest ko uwian time na ung iba hehehe konting sermon tpos tiningnan ng masama ang troops ko hehe tpos kuha ng taxi enden unuwi na! yey!
*nangyare toh last saturday september 12
*gus2 ko lang isama ung consersation ng moterh dear ko dito

scence sa bahay..(m = mom , c = ako)
m: alam mo ba nanawawala si carl at nagaalala ung mother nia? tpos kung san san ka pa nagpupupunta. bat ka ba uminom?

c: opo. di ko po alam na may inuman eh.. kala ko kainan lang. tpos nagdala ng beer kaya uminom ako.. tsaka po may problema po ako kaya medyo naparame..

m: yun lang ba ang lunas mo sa mga problema mo? nag paginom? at pagyosi?

c: opo.. wala kase akong malapitan eh.. kaibigan lang ang komportable ako lapitan.. nahihiya kase ako sayo.. i fear of rejection..

m: bat ka pa nahiya.. eh nanay mo ako.. tsaka neks time wag ka na uminom kapag may problema.. pede ka uminom pero ung moderate lng .. wag ka magpapakalasing..

c: opo.. sori po..

m: kumaen ka na ba?

c: opo

m: ocge maligo ka na at ang baho mo na

c: opo
(mahaba pa yan.. kaso ayoko na isama hehehe yun ung part na tungkol sa dad ko.. gagawa n lang ako ng part 2 kung may gana ako..)

2004-08-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

YEY! 1 month na kame!! YAHOoo!!
HAPPY MONTHSARY SAKEN!!
YAHOOOOooooo!!

2004-08-23T04:43:00.000-07:00

I'M A COMPLETE FAILURE..

2004-08-07T02:32:00.000-07:00

you may think im a useless bum..
a stupid moron.. retarted fartknocker..
doing everything in his own way..

you may think im cool..
but im not, im just like the rest you you
i just have my own ways..

you may know my name
but im sure you dont know me well
dont pretend you care
because i can see in your face
the hate and anger you have in me

i may be the last you had
and the last youll love
pick all your favorites
and im not on the list..

theres only one thing im sure
that all has and end..
it may be hard for others
but not for you..
you have wasted you labor
and suffering.. your so called
"LOVE" for me..

all i have is my friends
friends that help me..
not my family..
who abandon me..
leaves me in the dark
alone searching for answers

i could have committed suicide
i thought of committing suicide
but im not that stupid to leave
everything that i love behind

they dont know how i feel..
how i feel about them
thats because they only think
i dont feel nothing..
im a pain in the ass..
well.. they are all wrong
i may not be expressive
but deep inside i express
everything i feel..
by the means of writing..
smoking.. drinking..
at some point of all those
i remember them..

all this crap.. all this feeling
made me cry.. not with sadness..
but with anger..
anger that builds and stock
inside my body..
forcing me to release it..

i know everthing has an end
life has an end..
its just a matter of time..
tic toc tic toc tic toc....

it's better than beer

2004-07-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

yesterday she gave me a letter
she did not gave it me personally
but it's ok her bestfriend handed it

i did not know what's in the letter
not before she smiled at me
then i had a clue..
when i opened the letter..

"coco,,
i love you

-yvonne =)"

those three words flattered me
then when i got back home
i called her and asked if she
really means what she has said
and she said yes :D

(kame na! [jumping for joy])
*ryan ang kyut nakahanap na
ren ako ng katapat ko :D*

2004-07-26T18:16:00.000-07:00

it rains it shines
nothings gonna stop me
from having a great day

i was with yvonne this afternoon
we ate and laughed, we walked and talked
its raining but it's okay
because i'am with her.. yvonne :D

maybe ryan was right..
there is a time for everything
and i think the time has come
i think i'm falling for her

i thought of this when we went
our seperate ways..
she went home, and i stayed
i said to myself..
"shet.. asan na kaya sha?,
namimiss ko na sha agad"

i thought i was dreaming but
i was not..
i was wide awake..
THIS IS FOR REAL :D

I REALLY MISS YOU

2004-07-09T16:57:00.000-07:00

i have been waiting for this day
but that day never came
what will i have to do
to make you happy with me?
i had stopped driking everyday..
but i think it will come back
and you made it come back

i have been staring at your window
waiting for you to come
but you never came..
i have wasted my time
i could have been drinking my ass off
smoking till my lungs explode
but no..
i stayed there and hoping
that you'll peep
and say hello..

that time never came..

or maybe its just me..
me and my vices..
me and my beliefs
i know many people hate me
they hate me for who i am
and maybe your one of them..

2004-07-07T06:17:00.000-07:00

i knocked on heavens door
nobody answered
i sat on the so called stairway to heaven
waited for eight years for my questions to be answered
nobody came

why waste my time going back
why wasted my time waiting
for the one they call almighty
is not there